Jason LeCount

fuck i just realized my wife has never disavowed the muslim brotherhood

Ossoff: "It's the most corrupt administration of all time & everybody knows it. While the crook president & his crook family rake in billions from all over the world, you pay more for everything... they lied us into war & spent most of the last year covering up for the world's most famous pedophile"

My online girlfriend was so shocked by the Ukraine drone strike on the Russian data centre that she's been too upset to message me all day.

I've never liked ICE. Even back when they used to call themselves the Klan.

Watch my banned interview with Jimmy Kimmel on YouTube: youtu.be/WLDE9LrGpNk?...

I wish Ken Paxton would protect puppies the way he protects pedophiles.

the thing that scares the middle and right so much about DSA is that they don't believe in oligarchy. the idea that the richest have not earned the right to govern the rest of us is the thing that makes them furious.

When you’re Trump’s VP, you are a heartbeat away from the foulest diaper-drenched piss and shit stench imaginable.

Special screenings of THE ODYSSEY where dads and the dad-coded are able to stand up for as much of the last hour as they deem necessary

Yesterday, WIRED learned that Madison Square Garden was suing us for our accurate reporting. We stand by our work. That’s why we’re removing the paywall from two of the MSG stories they don’t want you to read, making them free for everyone.

Losing my mind at this Murder, She Wrote promo

The game of soccer has proved insufficient to resolve a game of soccer. We will play a different game instead.

Never been here before.

Trump came to the brink of unleashing horrific destruction on Iran's civilian infrastructure simply because he was tired of being briefed on how we were losing every day, & once he was denied that he checked out even more. It is the most pathetic performance of any world leader in memory

Happy Catching A Bullet In The Same Barrel It Was Shot From Day to those who celebrate @bransonreese.bsky.social

The Garden reminds Trump of his childhood when his mother used to boo him to sleep.

If you're in the Arklatex and have a chance to see the White Trash Wannabes, don't pass it up.

they should make a jackie chan game like the new bond one where you're just having slapstick fights. there should be a button to yell "sorry!" or "i don't want any trouble!" while you're smashing someone's skull with a mop

“I need AI to do my job!” — Someone who does not know how to do their job “YOU need AI to do your job!” — Someone who does not know how to do your job

The Republican Party quietly deleted their own ad attacking Ken Paxton's record on crime... because Paxton is now the Republican Party's nominee to represent Texas in the U.S. Senate. Figured if the ad is important enough to delete, it's important enough to see...

The stories & photos from today’s voting rights marches in Alabama deserve to be seen by people who weren’t able to stand there in person. If this piece moves you, please share it widely & help make sure these voices aren’t lost in the noise of a crowded news cycle. open.substack.com/pub/joycevan...

You don’t hate country music, you just hate the same 100 songs of bootlicking corporatized trash about saluting the flag while drinking a beer in your truck at a football game next to your pretty silent wife in daisy dukes who also knows how to fish.

They put one of yours in the hospital, you put out a statement about how disappointed you are. That’s the centrist way.

It's easy for the cryptkeeper to sit there and moralize. Make his little puns about our transgressions. All he needs to do is take care of his damn crypt. His life is simple

My latest newsletter is about how the media defines "political violence" as something that happens exclusively to politicians, and ignores its primary victims: everyone else.

Yikes! Fox 5 caught on hot mic talking about the security at the Correspondents Dinner. "They have like two random chicks holding the front door open. Like guys, they're not even trying anymore...they're not even secret service people. It's like the girls who work here are holding the door."

"Do you regret your heated rhetoric?" "No. Do you regret your chilled rhetoric? Do you regret sitting on the sidelines as norms fell away and so many laws were broken? Do you regret pretending like this was all normal and you alone were savvy enough to see that Both Sides Are To Blame?"

If we ever go to a formal dinner and shots are fired, I don't care if we have on make-up and gowns, get in the car, bitch. We're going to Popeye's

oh ok there was a shooting at the WHCA dinner uh ok 𝕊ℍ𝕀ℕ𝔾𝕃𝔼𝕊 𝔻𝕆𝔼𝕊ℕ'𝕋 ℂ𝔸ℝ𝔼

A good joke I would do if I were there is walk into one of the rooms all the players are waiting and shiver real big then go "is there a draft in here?"

I said I wouldn't post these so often, but without em, I got nothing.

Amazing that in the national divorce the libs are getting the NFL, butter and cooking oil, being attracted to adult women, standup comedy, Bud Light, and now also Catholicism

Aw yeah

Take a moment to remember how weird it is our president communicates with us through a bottom-tier social media site called Truth Social. It’s like if he governed from the comment section of a porn site.

Yes, Israel is carpet-bombing civilians again, but you have to understand that this is built on a completely rational foundation of checks and balances to explain how we got here

Not to crap on classic ones, but I saw shin godzilla and godzilla minus one recently, and they are very clearly high water marks for any and all kaiju movies.

Herman Melville on moderates, all the way back in 1857:

Super Bowl LX: Oops! All Field Goals

Cartoon by Richard Kirkman

on one hand being married gives you a lifetime of love and companionship even in your darkest days. but on the other hand it seems like people who get married are constantly going to random children’s birthday parties and idk if i wanna do that

The Epstein emails should really end the debate over whether society should have billionaires. "Do you want there to be a class of people so powerful they can fuck your kids and no one will even try to do anything" seems like an easy sell if everyone in politics wasn't trying to get on their payroll

The best team in the NFL is definitely not in this afc championship game.

Q: What's the difference between someone in NATO and Donald Trump? A: Donald Trump would never put on a uniform to defend the United States.

With the new year, my med insurance changed to an hmo, and I've had to jump through all kinds of hoops just to go back to my same docs. The biggest evidence that our system is fucked: every nurse, doc, and ins rep has thanked me PROFUSELY for "being proactive" (ie. calling until things are sorted).