Fred Krueger, Unburned Janitor

Pat McAfee shouldn't be on tv every day. He should be the guy from college you assume is dead now when in actuality he just works for his dad and was ordered by a judge to delete his Instagram.

RIP Condolences to @nevernotfunny.com (host Jimmy Pardo is his son-in-law) Walter Koenig Has Died at 90. He Played Chekov on ‘Star Trek.’ www.nytimes.com/2026/10/26/a...

SUPER cool map that shows which party is getting small donor funds, broken down by county. There are tabs for the big Senate races too. votehub.com/2026/10/24/2...

[the guy from the band Cake voice] we are posting our cringe we are having bruh moments

ERNIE: let’s talk about that 1st half from Wembanyama KENNY: he’s struggling when- CHARLES: how did you learn to pronounce that ERNIE: what CHARLES: when I say it it sounds like Victor Windmills SHAQ: *pulls lapel mic up* Don Quixote CHARLES: which team is he on KENNY: I quit

what if your future car is sort of like mother in law?

NEWS: the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders have unionized and the Cowboys have agreed to recognize the union

i think if we're being serious, almond joys got nuts even less than mounds do... cause they both got coconut which isn't a nut but neither are almonds, which puts almond joys at -2 nuts whereas mounds weigh in at a comparatively nutty -1 nuts

Bustin’ makes you feel good? Sure, but it’s also highly addictive. If you or someone you know is experimenting with bustin’, help is available. Bust safely

I still post here from time to time despite the fact that Bluesky users don't know what music is and only listen to political podcasts they disagree with

Wish someone would release patches for my vulnerabilities

ill be fucking their little tri-corn hat wearing asses up. founding fathers never saw brazilian jui jitsu. Never saw muy thai. im putting ben franklin in a kimura.

This is an awful story in a hundred different ways, but I do want to note it references a local paper with perhaps the greatest name in history: the Youngstown Vindicator (RIP). tiffinohio.net/posts/acton-...

Faceplant interview with Ashley Moody about stealing $10M from Florida's poorest children. Start at 1:52: Moody rarely does interview outside of Fox News. www.youtube.com/watch?v=1yht...

Guys it’s 2026 can we please stop falling for his BS.

since we’re doing this discourse again here’s why im no longer on twitter

If nothing else, the return of Girls on HBO is a great excuse for Allison Williams to go back on CBB.

Y’all are acting like you’ve never seen an octogenarian drug addict who spent decades attacking little girls w/his BFF Jeffrey Epstein while laundering money for Russian mob ask Iran to nuke LA & San Diego to help MAGA midterms while a bunch of cornhusk crackers cheered before?

This was way funnier than SNL

I DON'T LIKE THE NEW ONES

new food pyramid says u gotta eat mad ants every day. thats all it says.

If Trent Reznor studied musical theater instead of computer engineering NIN might have sounded like Prick. www.theverge.com/entertainmen...

Really cool tool from @popular.info to crowdsource who is paying for what campaign ads. paidforby.info

The Man Who Shot Liberty Bibberty

"soy boy" is NOT an insult! "soy boy" is the name of the creation i carved from fermented bean curd and whom i am going to make real using the darkest of magics

I can't believe I let myself fall far enough behind on the Ground Beefing episodes that I'm just now hearing Santa Claus say "I'M RIBS!" again.

And it's up REAL early! My Off Book interview fresh off the presses captimes.com/entertainmen...

let me call you back boss I’m with a custoid right now [hangs up] i’ve been dreaming of ways to serve you.

"why would I deceive you?"

using a grocery list app with your partner is a great way to, (a) share the collective task of shopping (b) become sporadically infuriated with someone you love for handing you the psychic burden of figuring out where the hell craisins are located

My sister knew how to do something on the thermostat that I didn’t know so I’ve started calling her “The Hacker” and “Microchip”

Occam: listen, if you're trying to figure out whether your friend didn't text you back because she may be mad at you for some unknown reason or because she's just busy at the moment, you can just use my razo- Occam's wife: shut up about your razor already, jesus christ

If you're a Dem who thinks you'll gain something by going anti-trans, look at Gallup's "most important problem" and Fox News' "most important issue" polling and see where trans issues rank. Whoever told you going anti-trans is a savvy or necessary move spends too much time on X and should be fired.

all my exes live in .exes

It's like my grandpa always said: "*complete silence* *sips beer* *stares at some old Western on TV*".

"A.I." boosters vs "A.I." critics

Bluesky is not "dying", in fact it's about to become the next Martha's Vineyard

something most democrats still dont understand is that "fuck off" is a perfectly valid response to 99.999999999% of the right's criticisms, which are always made in bad faith

I’M NOT LAZY. I’M LIVING AT A SPEED THAT YIELDS HIGHER FIDELITY. LIKE RECORDING TO YOUR VCR ON SP INSTEAD OF SLP

you Odyssey these nuts

"oh wow you dont want transgender kids to play sports? and you want to look into their pants? you sound like a total beta cuck creep perv. true alphas stand with freedom and liberty and justice for all but i guess you wouldn't understand as an incel bigot loser."

Every journalist that writes an "Elon Musk Predicts" story should be forced to google that phrase first. These aren't reporters, they're dope mules.