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Will mental gymnastics be introduced at the 2028 Olympics? Because Mike seems to be training hard for it.

And yet they were surprised when ...Iran responded by attacking US bases and Middle East countries who've cooperated with the US in the past??? Wtf are we doing here?! Drug-adled psychopaths.

Why wasn’t there any more pressure on Israel applied when you knew this would happen? Trump just wanted to bomb Iran with Hegseth jumping on it like a kid playing a video game. If the both have any balls they would now visit the US troops in the Gulf. But alas they lack the courage of a Zelensky

“The intelligence was exquisite. It was staggeringly beautiful. The intelligence…it was breathtaking. It was exquisite and breathtaking, and I love it so much, I do. I…I kiss it. I kiss it over and over. With my eyes closed, I do. And if you mock my love for it, I will fight you. Be warned.”

Why is magic Mike still on my TV? @jaketapper.bsky.social

How do I invoke the castle doctrine for killing this man in a bar that was looking at my wife? Because if I had shown him where my house was, and told him that the door was unlocked and that there was a wad of cash in a coffee can in the freezer, he would have broken into my house to steal it.

Using that cause and effect argument wouldn’t it have been cheaper and quicker just for the USA to bomb Israel?

I’m confused🤔

Johnson is the kind of person wealthy people feel surrounded by all the time: He'll say and do anything to ingratiate himself, hoping that he can keep the McCrumbs that fall off Trump's table.

Recent Ai war machine puff peace on US company and US military partnership. bsky.app/profile/wash...

Is there anyone Israel could attack that the US wouldn't help them?

That is some circular logic. If you can even call it logic.

That's some serious pretzel logic, man.

Hmmm 🤔 Maybe Israel shouldn't have attacked them then... Someone might want to talk with Bibi about that.

Good can we send his children?!

Johnson’s Christian Fundamentalism is a mental illness marked by extreme disordered thinking.

I think, as a country, we have to redefine what “Common Sense” is. That term has no place in this conversation.

You can assume, because it’s common sense, that Mike Johnson is LYING AGAIN about Trump’s unconstitutional actions.

'Common sense' had become their latest buzz word - and red flag for some outrageous unjustifiable action.

Nothing these assholes do or say is common sense.

Isn't this kind of like the movie Minority Report? (2002 Steven Spielberg starring Tom Cruise)

They all got the same idiotic, nonsensical talking point.

Mike wrote the book on how to move goalposts.

So Mike Johnson claims to be a prophet now.

Mike has heard about Iran?? Wow. Amazing.

Great image! Speaking as an adopted Montréalais….

Little Mikey makes an ass out of himself daily.

Trump has no common sense..he's a fkn moron

Prefensive

You should eat theirs first as they were going to eat your ice cream

Looney Tunes….

This is genuinely the dumbest thing I have ever heard

So foreign governments tell us when to go to war Mike? Do I have that correct?

So the imminent threat was Israel attacking Iran? Sounds like we attacked the wrong country. Maybe the wrong leader died.

What dirt does Bibi have on Dumpy Don??!!

"We had to strike first because they would've retaliated if we struck first".

Mike Johnson dresses like chess but, from the neck up, is all checkers.

Is it still illegal to slap someone up the side of the head?

If Biden, Obama or Clinton had done this they would have had a meltdown

Time to throw these assholes out before USA is gone !

Right, so it's Zionist Israel's fault US taxpayers are paying through the nose for a war that will not benefit us and US military members are dying for a war with a country that isn't threatening our borders. Got it.

🙄🙄

Yet Trump is on Truth Social bragging about curtains for his ballroom while 4 service members are dead! He’s a piece of crap!

F U Mike Johnson

Of course, the defensive preemptive strike. Just like Shock and Awe in Iraq.

So we attacked, and they retaliated against the US.

Poor Mike, despite all his fervent “Christianing”, he’s still gonna rot in hell. Tsk.

If chatgpt was a person.

* Donald Trump's war in Iran is a Jeffrey Epstein files Deflection, & Benjamin Netanyah's re-Election 2026. Both Aged Old Men too old to be ruling over the world within their own corruption. Trump 79 years old Benjamin Netanyahu 76 years. Both wasting the last years of their lives. *

Next Netanyahu is going to claim his attack was also defensive because if Trump attacked Iran, Iran was going to retaliate against Israel. Covering each other's asses -kinda like that old crime called 'Check Kiting'

The Vietnam War began with 64% public approval, then dropped significantly as the conflict continued, ending in only 29% approving of the intervention. The beginning of the Iran War is at 27% public approval.

And if that happened we’d have take back Greenland and also bring that ship back so we can send it to Minnesota.

Nuremberg trials I see.

Danger to the entire world and this man allows it.

Trump fucked this up Royal.

But common sense is not very common. Especially with Trump.

It sounded stupid when I only read it… then I listened to the clip. Wow.

The mental gymnastics this guy engages in is truly astonishing.

Then warn Israel that if it attacks Iran, we are cutting all aid to Israel.

So this seems to be what they’re settling on? I knew it would be weak, but this is ridiculous.

Iran WOULD NOT RETALIATE AGAINST THE US.In fact,pentagon officials stated to Dems yesterday that Iran was NOT going to attack Israel.No intention,unless Israel attacked Iran first.

They don't know what they're doing. A horde of monkeys would run this banana republic better

He got the memo for Bullshitery

I can't help but feel war is pretext to calling a national emergency. Trump has recently laid the groundwork by claiming Iran interfered in two elections with no evidence. Is this their plan to spoil the midterms?

Is this supposed to portray the US/ Israel relationship in a positive light?

These spineless jellyfish just abdicate their responsibility.

Who is the relic behind Little Mikey Johnson? He looks like he wonders "what the heck is this dude saying? How did I get here?"

this is the craziest actual explanation yet did they all have a stroke over the weekend wtf

They're pushin John Yoo's (of 2003 torture memo fame) unitary exec theory BS as "authority." bsky.app/profile/digi...

openly saying that americans are dying for israel

Israel first!

So we had to attack Iran because Israel was going to attack, and Iran would have retaliated against the US, which would have caused the US to retaliate against Iran. Clearest reason for war I've ever heard

"Yes, officer, I sucker punched that Persian man because my Jewish friend over there was going to sucker punch him first and I was afraid the Persian man would then hit me of which I would have been unprepared for, except I did know what was going to happen before the Persian man did." Is that it?

OMG, what a tool for Trump. Israel is the country which bombed Iran in December, along with us! If anything WE threatened Iran. There are legitimate security issues concerning Iran, but any assault should have been done in consultation and warning our allies, congress and US citizens abroad.

TIL Mike doesn't listen to the words he's saying.

This is gonna sound great at the war crimes trial.

Brightt red face when he lies. A lot of people that lead double lives have this Tell.

So basically, the USA is going to "eventually" attack Greenland so the EU could choose to bomb the White House. They (EU) would be absolutely just under that logic. Or maybe Russia feels that the EU is going to attack them eventually so Putin might as well just attack first. So fucking idiotic.

Mike either sees nothing or everything

3 days to come up with a story, and this what they all agreed on? They're even dumber than I thought.

That is the most ignorant reason for the US to get involved in a war ever. Fuck Trump and the GOP House and Senate.

Quel con!

WTF?

Johnson speaks utter bollocks.

The best offense is a good defense.

Mike Johnson: “What War? I don’t know anyone who knows anything about any war.“

insert "Sure, Jan" meme here

They just keep lying and spinning tales hoping that we will not be able to keep track of it all and give up resisting. Welp, we WONT

I thought the US has no department for defense any more, I thought all they do is war? Suddenly they're just a little guy?

Is this main reason #5?

No wonder his Law School went out of business before it opened with this guy as Dean. So he's saying it is okay to use lethal force on something the other guy "might do" if provoked. That's no defense and if this guy is a lawyer, he knows it. Just MAGA gaslighting is all this is...

Well don’t let Pete hear that, he said this morning it’s not about defense, it’s about lethality. And little Marco said it’s not about regime change, but his boss said it is. In defense of Mike though, he probably didn’t know anything about any of that, he’s very busy.

Tut, tut, tut. What did they teach you: never assume because it makes an "ass" out of "u" and all the other MAGA cult members 🙂

This motherfucker does not get the EXCUSE of being stupid. He knows EXACTLY what he is saying. He is lying, lying, lying - he's in the top 10 per cent of the worst of the worst of them. GAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH

C’mon … he’s not close to the dumbest one. He might not even be bottom quartile… But he’s fucking stupid…

he seems to have gotten up-to-speed surprisingly quickly.

You know what happens when you assume. There were options. How about telling Netanyahu to calm down and show restraint?

It is sickening that so many voted for him but more people voted against him. Muskrat and his minions stole the 5 swing states. Harris won.

This is the same logic that Trump tried to excuse Jan. 6th with, 'well I said protest peacefully'. They're always trying to find some loophole. It's obvious what you're doing, trying for 'plausible deniability.'

Johnson selling his pretzel logic. 😠

they need to make up their minds Was Iran attacked for regime change or to eliminate attack capability?

Lies lies lies

Huh. I guess “I don’t know anything about that” isn’t working today.

Seems like doublespeak has become quadruplespeak.

Thou Shalt Attack For Any Reason.

whenever a politician appeals to 'common sense' it's because they've not got a coherent fact based argument up their sleeve.

This. Is. Insane.

Uhhh. You did it BECAUSE of Israel? Resign. Now.

What? 🖕 Mike

So this is the bullshit excuse they landed on?

Preventive war against countries without weapons able to hit US territory is now "defence". War is peace, 1984 is here.

🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️WTF SO THE PEDIFILE STARTED A WAR based on that warp magat thinking. It all makes sense now????

This is an absolutely ridiculous statement. Just another embarrassment for the United States.

And if I punch you in the face it is defensive because someday someone (not me!) would punch you in the face and you would take revenge on me. This must never happen, so I will proactively defend myself by striking first. Brilliant.