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so...you're saying you solved it with a Strait flush?!

And there was much rejoicing!

Benedict Cumberbatch. Duh.

Someone clearly never has left the continental U.S., or, like the character Homer Wells in "The Cider House Rules" never seen the ocean, or any body of water larger than a quarter mile across. Such a tiny plunger.

Just say the right password.

⬇️

😂 I've always thought they're actually trying to stop him from ever getting up again. Please try harder folks...please!

“When you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men … but when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your father who is unseen...” 🧻 bsky.app/profile/mole...

A MAGA speculum.

Alcoholday, he-he

Boston: "Amateurs."

Alcoholidays is going directly to my lexicon, thank you.

Two birds at once, good thinking

🫡

Rockets. SpaceX can use rockets that they launch from the oil rigs and then they land in Texas at Starbase.

First we build a giant wall around the Strait. Then we declare it a lawless zone. Then we send the President in. And then? Well then my plan all comes together...

What about locks?

Newton Leroy Gingrich. How can anybody with that name be taken seriously.

Newt Gingrich suggested that.

And if that doesn't work, try some Barry White.

Organise a game of winner takes all cricket. 35 overs each. 20mins for tea. No draw available. New ball for each innings

"Strait of Donald J Trump and Hormuz"

No, no; Hormuzical the Muzical

I'm giggling like a loon!

The prize money from the big dance competition is exactly as much as we need to save the old community center, and also restabilize the global economy.

I was thinking with a DJ, dance floor, and open bar after cutting a ribbon with comically-large scissors.

A big Broadway production number with Nathan Lane and Audra McDonald.

I think this is an excellent idea.

With a joke. Always open with a joke.

Convert the tankers to submarines.

6 pints usually does it...

George could sing "Ocean Front Property"

Don't know that you'd need 'em. Trump can irritate the shit out of anything without even trying.

Rename it the Trump Straits, build the bigliest ballroom the world has ever seen, and all will be fine and dandy.

Send wotsername Leavitt to argue with the Supreme leader

Saturday, SATURDAY, SATURDAYYYY!!!!!!

Ah, yes! She’s got that vengeful edge that could open the strait and piss the pedophile in chief off even more!

A REALLY big thighmaster

Keep doing what we’re doing

A strongly worded subtweet of Iran should do the trick.

I thought crayons. Immediately

Oh they're actually doing this.

Flip the closed sign to open

Just cut off an inch or two of that pointy part.

Wait till it freezes then send a surprise cavalry charge down it à la mongols -100% surprise factor

The only way straights are able to open up: I’d get it drunk then start asking about its exes.

Use a tin opener.

You dig a tunnel underground.

Use the warfighters and the army corps of engineers to dig a canal through Iran to the Caspian Sea. Then the oil can go directly to Russia and my friend Vlad will help me get a third term!

That joke certainly is.

Charm.

Move it to the North Sea, there you go loads of room

2 for 1 drinks until 6pm.

bsky.app/profile/theo...

Keep it closed. Go all electric in America. LOL🤣🤣🤣

Make it crooked. This will keep everyone (especially Iran) off balance. Then you can sneak the tankers around the corners while they're not looking.

Hormuz has been constipated all week and there ain't a darn thing you can do about it.

Of a piece: with precious bodily fluids.

I like where your head is but remember we need the oil to get toys to children. And who is a friend to all children? That's right. Gamera.

"EEEEEEEEMo-Thu-Raaaaaaaaah!"

He said *wrong* answers dude 😀

I grew up using the Swedish/Royal Navy style can opener that’s just a slightly curved blade in a nicely shaped wooden handle. That’ll open almost anything.

Put a big Welcome to Trump Riviera on The Sands at the gates.

Very entertaining thread.

Suspect he’s never been on a digger

The Invisible Hand of the Marketplace is currently giving us the finger, and it’s only invisible to this administration.

Nice one! Up there with "thoughts and prayers"

Big scissors.

And strike, and strike, and strike , and strike ......

Buy tons of Louis Vuitton 👜s because dolphins are basic bitches, fill them with oil & make a Netflix doc for Cannes. Send the 🐬 on a press tour to Spain, pickpockets will steal the 👜s hide eurodisney passes in the purses. Snag them back at Its a Small World, and jetpack the 🛢️ to Fiji. it’s Econ101

Electromagnets

With a rousing game of two truths and a lie

They get to line up and try again in the next convoy. This time with experience

Make Balrog Great Again

sicko-yes.jpeg

There better be a proposal at the end.

Find allies who could help me and insult and threaten them.

Ooooh. Pass that idea to Elon via Twitter and it's as good as done!

They call him Flipper, Flipper, faster than lightning No one, you see, is smarter than he And we know Flipper lives in a world full of wonder