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In my 10-page thought piece on the intersections of white Christian nationalism, homophobia, America's history of lynching and objectification of the Black male body, and the "de-veining" of Snicker bars, I will....

Silliness aside. If this is not satirical, and this is just him being honest, this is a dangerous man.

🤣🤣🤣🤣

How is he so sure that a "veiny" Snickers is so texturally similar to a veiny penis?

This gay guy loves Snickers.

'For those out there who need a Snickers vein defiller.' Dude, bro, no one has ever even been in your ballpark when eating a Snickers. Just give in, this has to be torture. If we're buying this logic, it's no issue for him to touch the veins as he defiles? Seems like a dangerous, gay loophole. 🤡

Rofl is candy... Will someone help him outta the closet hes trapped like a mf in there

Do they eat the dick vein separately?

Or a penis.

His mommy won’t let him use knives.

This is my exact thought

And then it doesn’t really work, so he ends up basically just using it as a shittily angled knife anyway.

It's such a bad design because not only is it clearly not rigid enough, the guides will split off along the layer lines and there's no safety protection against the blade jumping and slicing a finger

Or even just lightly squeezing the snickers before opening so your body heat melts the veins. Or maybe he considers that a hand job?

Totally has to be satire.

Sometimes a cigar is just a bar of chocolate.

I would say this has to be a bit but he came pretty close to slicing his finger open on that unguarded blade

WTH is he talking about!?!?

He's only okay with smooth cocks in his mouth clearly.

Nothing says I love cock in my mouth more than making something to deny you do

"I do not. Touch. Snickers bars with veins," man says, while touching a Snickers bar with veins, already a proven liar

wasting chocolate for jesus 🫡

printypop3dprints likes to post joke videos deveiner June 13, 2026: www.instagram.com/reel/DZiG5dr... He has also made a cucumber root waterer and an abstract Christmas tree. www.instagram.com/printypop3dp... www.facebook.com/people/Print...

Dude. Just give it up. Born again- what a joke.

This is the part you know they actually enjoyed it when they haven't given their life to Christ. It's so provocative and full of pretense from such folk.

Like the lion said, "Always ask someone you love before you put anything in your mouth."

Impeccable reference that no one seems to get!

Seriously.

Good thing the snickers bar comes pre-wrapped, rawdogging the snick was his first mistake.

I prefer to call them "flavor ridges" but ok...

@rickyftw.bsky.social @eliotetc.bsky.social

Why did he grunt like that? Why did he involve us in this?

It's so pathetic bruh

His thing is so badly made he’s gonna cut one of his fingers one day.

Only if you enjoy it🍫

all done while the voiceover sounds like a porn star in action. LOL

Weirdo. Could have used a blowtorch to smooth the surface & not waste the throbbing chocolate.

I'm sorry, but if you are looking at a Snickers bar and seeing a cock, I think that is something that isn't going to be "solved" by a 3D printed mandoline.

how do these guys pee?

they circumcised a candy bar

Too funny, where is stl lol

To paraphrase Wabuu : Most of the white american men are soooo stupid.

Ribbed on the bottom tho. For his pleasure.

So this is what serial killers are up to today

So I know it's almost certainly a bit but like, everything aside; People do know that the top of a Snickers looks that way because of the enrobing process right?

... Mazel tov...

@junlper.beer

😂

The straights are not okay Giving their snicker’s bars non-consensual sex change surgeries just to validate their sexuality

Bet you're still eating it the long way though, f****t. Turn it sideways.

Is that food safe plastic?

Gotta assume there's a healthy dollop of racism mixed in there.

It just looks like a turd noo

Did he not have a Snickers bar that was not half melted on top so that there is no 'vein' there? This has to be a bit, right?

I would say, this is a pervert who thinks chocolate is reminiscent of a penis

Umm … it's a Snickers bar, not "good chocolate."

Homophobes are over here circumsnickering their bars.

Wait until they tell him he's going to have a mouthful of nuts.

The definition of 3D printed junk.

Homophobiaed myself into imagining a big veiny cock in my mouth so often i decided it was normal to make that my personality

That is a severely mentally challenged individual

There’s that one nut job who bought like 100 Rose action figures from The Last Jedi and destroyed them all in various and completely unhinged ways. Full mental deterioration in action.

Veins are the best part! They are also great on Snickers Bars.

How much porn are you watching that you cant look at a snickers without feeling intimidated/aroused?

the avatar of insecurity.

My "I am very heterosexual" series of videos have a lot people asking questions about my sexuality already answered by my videos

Congratulations to the man who just made a snickers with two bums to avoid gay thoughts.

He's created a very fitting tiny dick-guillotine.

he circumcised a snickers 😔

Lol, so he’s doing genital mutilation?

He “tried veins on the tongue” yeah I bet buddy Sorry for him that he feels so ashamed about it that it’s clouding his enjoyment of minor pleasures

Smart. It’s much easier to throat that snizzy if it’s shaved nice and smooth

Tbf, I was working on the assumption that this person was not normal, but that there was already a solution to his very unusual problem. Personally the 'veins' on chocolate bars have never been something I have considered on any level. But if I wanted to remove them, I'd use a grater...

This gotta be a joke because this would be a hilarious SNL skit 😂

I love that he demonstrates this on a "SATISFIES" Snickers bar. 🤣

Nancy Pelosi did it again youtu.be/is5_pYP8Lyo

I don't want to be gay so i CIRCUMCIZED MY SNICKERS

This is a bit, right? ...right?

we are all just living in @junlper.beer's world

Ok, but do you eat the “vein shavings”? Because you may as well keep them on.

Was totally waiting for him to slip and chop his fingertip off, not gonna lie.

Snickers mohel

Thinking guys are cute is the number one cause of Christian Fundamentalism.

Christofascists are such snowflakes.

"As a born-again Christian" and this MFer has eight tattoos, possibly one of them is super racist

Just gonna have to swallow those undiluted veins straight up. Like now you just got concentrated vein with no dick meat to soften the gayness

it is

Imagine being so insecure in your sexuality that you get triggered by a candy bar.

Yeah, I only like circumcised Snickers bars too

"As a Christian, I can only eat circumcised Snickers"

Any real deveiner would know to use a mandoline and not some first-iteration monotasker that will devein your thumb. /s

“You’re not you when you’re being homophobic” -Snickers ad

This is all well and good, but Anthony Bourdain spoke out against silly niche kitchen devices. What we need is a more generic tool that can remove dick veins from any type of food.

So he’s circumcising his chocolate bar? 🤣

Sounds about white (supremacist)... Kid's so deep in the closet, he commutes from Narnia.

absolutely deranged behavior

@junlper.beer

Deveined and divined, god save us from the cockolate!

Ragebait.

120%

I had NO idea where this vid was going

yes, it is clearly and obviously a joke.

This *has* to be a bit, right?

"I tried them veins on the tongue and it just doesn't work" lmao

I can’t help but cackle at stuff like that… Cutting off the “veins” of a Snickers bar… sounds like a trigger from hell if you have to go that far to eat some damn candy.

If the veins on my penis looked like that I'd be seeking medical advice.