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Alt Pony Theory: Republicans had the pony Left it in the street - they didn't want a black pony Neighbor kid picked up the pony Now all the cool kids are at the neighbor's house watching movies & eating snacks, protected by each other, & republicans are dealing with the mean neighbor on their own.

People will be pleased to know that I am 95% of the way to getting a pony. The remaining 5% is just buying the pony and everything that goes along with owning, housing, and maintaining a pony. Also, I am broke.

The pony deal. Tremendous deal. A lot of people are talking about the pony deal. The best pony deal. Nobody's ever seen a pony deal like this. It's going to be huge, believe me. We're talking about ponies, and not just any ponies, the greatest ponies. I am trying to do my best Trump impression. 😂

Noooooooo. I didn’t foresee a pony blowing up.

They had a really good pony. Then they took it behind the barn and shot it Now they are showing us a donkey and claiming its a Stallion

So the deal is 5% done

😂😂😂😂

Not incompetence. It’s how they pay the rent.

Not incompetence. It’s how they pay the rent.

So, easy shit- Done! Hard shit- Not!

This is only getting better. 95% of the way there. A few light bombings will help get it across the line.

I asked my kids what they want to eat. The remaining 5% of the task is just acquiring the ingredients, finding a place to prepare them, cooking it and serving it (and cleaning up). Also, they asked for Unicorn steaks.

Oh yeah just two small things remaining, only 5%. WTF is wrong with these garbage creatures?

Trump claims a deal is done every day.

My new job is 95% confirmed. The remaining 5% is wage negociations and working conditions.

Guessing the 95% is where he gets to put his statue?

It's like that last 5% on the little clock when your operating system updates.

So Trump has agreed to give Iran everything it wants while the American demands are TBA?

But they have settled on the catering for the negotiations. So it’s almost a done deal.

Resign the Obama deal. But Iran gets a lot more money to sign, and Russia potentially gets to store the enriched uranium, which Russia could backdoor right back to it’s number 1 ally, Iran.

Yet his supporters will cheer on his "progress" and "accomplishments"

Pedo Putin's MAGA USA... Only the most critical sticking points for making any deal with lran's Islamic Republic remain unresolved.

One of the lol worst wigs I've ever seen.

Dinner is 95% done. I just need to go to the store and buy the ingredients and cook it.

Nothing about missiles, nothing about Iranian proxies, and especially no regime change. Netanyahu will blame Trump, but after all who talked Trump into this fiasco?

The 95 percent is price gouging and war profiteering

I don't like Luntz, but he is making a joke and quote-tweeting Scott Jennings to make fun of his reporting in this tweet.

Like he has to be trolling lol I mean

Just in time for the STOCK MARKET opening for the week!! Trumps greatest hit, the weekly BAIT & SWITCH!!

This sounds like 7 year old me describing how much of my room I had cleaned to my parents while hoping that they wouldn’t go look for themselves.

Why do I get the feeling this isn't a parody account 😂

Funny how basically 100% of the issues- uranium and the strait- only add up to 5% of the negotiations. Maga math.

checking oil futures....

I am 95% of the way to my goal to becoming a billionaire.... All that's left is for me to save $999998126

So it’s 2% done. SMH!

"95% of the negotiations are done. We have agreed how many billions we will spend to bribe Iran to return things to a quasi pre-war status". "The 5% of negotiations remaining includes how much toll the Iranians will collect on the passage of each boat through the International Strait".

Pretty sure Iran is not on the same page.

Pretty sure Iran is not on the same page.

Hmm 🤔 funniest tweet. From the most unfunny guy.

Oy- the dumbest of times.

But they’ve settled on the font

My homemade brownies are 95% complete. The remaining 5% involves building a house, installing an oven, and figuring out how to make brownies.

Dinner is 95% done, I just have to start the slow cooker

Did we need a reminder that Frank Luntz is full of shit?

This is the most "other than that, how was the play Mrs. Lincoln?" tweet I've ever seen.

Im buying a new car and the negotiations are 95% done. The only things left are which car, how much it will cost, interest rates, and term of loan.

URQUHART: Pleased?! BROWNING: Of course. He thinks Market Garden was 90% successful.

Bunch of clowns 🤣🤣🤣

Location of meeting?

Market odds. 10:1.

Poor math

And he does not even notice.

But "shape of negotiating table" and "snacks to be served" are 100% set.

When the loading screen progress bar gets stuck forever at the end.

Right, just that one teeny tiny sticking point.

. . . and what does insider reporting from an unnamed White House official say about insider trading?

That's only 66%, not as good as 95%!

Dammit, now I have to post this: youtu.be/LUjgjE7KfII?...

Not ideal, but that could work.....🤔

The man!

youtu.be/LpgRE8cbVpc

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Frank I thought he said he OBLITERATED it last July and insisted, threw temper tantrums & internal intel/defense analyst firings that we say THAT preferred word. "Severely degraded" wasn't enough for the Dear Leader in his manic dominating persona with media & right wing press

The journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step. But who has time for that? Lol

Whoa, we're 95% there Whoa oh, livin' on a prayer Take my hand, we'll make it, I swear Whoa oh, livin' on a prayer Livin' on a prayer

*lol*

Is this the Sex Panther negotiation? "The last 5% includes 100% of the negotiation"

This may outrank Rubio saying there'd be a deal "maybe today" in the LOL department.

Wow that last 5% sounds tough

Frank Luntz wasn't nearly as funny when he helped Newt Gibgrich in the late '70's choose words to demonize Democrats facilitating the political polarization & dysfunction we are experiencing today. We should never forget Luntz's role.

It's rightwing media propaganda. www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Fah...

There goes the last shred of his dignity and any reporting credibility.

That’s quite a lode bearing 5 percent

The Civil War negotiations are “95% done” The remaining 5% of negotiations are over whether to preserve Slavery as an institution, and the right to pursue runaway slaves who fled to the North

Probably not, though. Your crusade to make Republicans look like the actual progressives by comparison is really weird.

MAGA never was good at math.

Mrs. Lincoln enjoyed over 95% of the performances from the parts of the play she saw.

As Mr Peanutbutter (portrayed by Bojack Horseman) said in the movie "Mr Peanutbutter's Hollywoo Heist", True Dat.

The dinner is 95% ready. The 5% is buying the ingredients and cooking them.

What what what... did Frank Luntz get a job writing for The Onion?

It's a picture of his whole career schtick

These talks are intriguing but pathetic. There are many players, like a net full of fish that don’t really know anything about each other but the urgency of Tehran versus the political theater of Washington points at a deadly strategic fail for all parties. rinj.press/fpm2026/may/...

My affair with Scarlett Johansson is 95% done.

WSJ carrying water for the liar in chief. Your propaganda fools none but yourself.

By my calculations that's 600% to 1500% more (or less) than before.

I never know whether I'm supposed to laugh with Frank, or at him.

I’ll let this one slide.

Haha ha

Wow!!! That ALL that’s left? Sounds like a slam dunk.

More lies from orange Jesus…canceled Obama’s Nuc Treaty, replaced with LESS THAN ZERO … we got screwed with an expensive war on top of his huge tax giveaway deficit. All just him masturbating his frail, weak ego!

"ART OF THE SCHLEMIEL"

95% was settling on the sizes of the Florsheims he plans to offer as gifts as an olive branch, to be delivered by Marco Rubio in a US Navy boat, a/k/a one of Marco's shoes. The twiddling 5% is that nuclear dust and that pesky impossible to navigate "Strait of Doom".

Bingo.

They are such liars.

This should read “the Iran deal is 95% done. The remaining 95% of negotiations…”

Give it two weeks…

Gosh, just like software development. When you think you're about 90% done you're *maybe* half way.

The negotiators agreed on lunch. That’s the 95%

The same frauds who brought us “Healthy Forests” and that translated to clear cutting.

He knows what he sounds like. It's his one job.

He's a trump critic now, tho

And a fraud

I was in one of his focus groups once and saw him in action in person. I DON'T think he's serious, but I say that at like 65% confidence.

And this is why I can't tell if he's being funny on purpose, or dead serious.

Have to get above that old good v evil approach. There's a religiosity. Anecdote: 2020 Biden/Trump Debate. ("Shut up man" etc). Luntz had a focus group of Trump voters, shown on Twitter. 85% of them saw Biden as the more adult. I suggested people look. "No. Luntz is evil. Trump voters are evil".

Thanks. I hadn't seen that. Explains Luntz's 95% reference. Annoying what Jennings says about not giving Iran money for nothing. Because the JCPOA unfreezing of funds arrangements were CERTAINLY not money for nothing.

Tweet continued in ALT /f

tbf those ladies could probably end Luntz