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It's pure imaginary friend type of bullshit. Knock it the fuck off with trying to grift people.

I knew me eating the whole box was an act of kindness.

Facts.

Oreos orgasm as they are dissolved by your stomach acid. They say yes daddy.

BREAKING TECH NEWS: CEO of SLOPTECH says product will massage your prostate and call you a good girl Subscribe for more uncritical propaganda from Epstienite failsons incapable of an internal monologue!

This is a lie. The A in AI stands for artificial. Get real.

You all are fuckin dumb

Y'know I canceled my subscription to you for poor reporting like this, right?

Has the tech industry accidentally invented the initial stages of a completely new kind of mind, based on completely unknown principles, using completely unknown processes that have no parallel in the biological world? OR The illusion is in the mind of the user softwarecrisis.dev/letters/llme...

bsky.app/profile/bxbx...

oh was the computer crying? seriously, stfu

Kill it with fire.

No, they did not. Just like a year or so ago, when they tried the “it’s actually alive!” claim that also, wasn’t true Like dude I’m just exasperated at this point. AI companies have, are, and will lie to you about what their products can do. It’s really not more complicated than that.

No, no they don't

No its just doing math. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Conway%...

Remember when people were all "get a Wired subscription, support good journalism!"? 🤡

You gullible assholes

Do you get paid for doing their marketing for them?

Nope. And, in fact, lol.

cool stenography!

Call me when they'll find empathy in Trump or Musk

No it fucking doesn't

Fuck off!

It's a machine. Please fuck off.

“Researchers at the company”. This is the equivalent of “we investigated ourselves and found no wrongdoing”. They found what they were paid to find.

what a fucking stupid thing to say

You should be ashamed of yourselves

“similar to” = mimic = not real

According to me, I am 6’ 5” and can dunk.

my belly is sooooooo big

God damnit stop this.

No. This is a lie

HILARIOUS top stories at Wired right now.

Slopaganda 🧑‍🍳🤌

Clanker Slopaganda

"They told us their product they are trying to make a ton of cash from was the coolest thing ever and we just believed them because there's no reason they would just lie and the there'sno precedent for these people lying before. Medieval peasants can outwit our entire publication"

Journalism is dead and you people killed it.

IT JUST KEEPS GETTING STUPIDER AND MORE GRIFTY EVERY SECOND OF EVERY DAY. FUCKING. NONSENSE. DANIEL DENNET MUST BE ROLLING OVER IN HIS GRAVE....

Researchers found that magazines just parrot everything tech companies tell them.

"Claude Employees Lie About How Impressive Claude Is, Wired Jerks Them Off"

No they didn't. Shutup

bad headline. the authors explicitly state that functional emotions may work quite differently from human emotions and do not imply that llms have any subjective experience of emotions.

Did they though?

AI cannot feel emotions. It can only feign emotion and the text one may prescribe as a result. Any belief that AI can feel does not account for the lack of sentience AI has, which is a pretty core part of emotion.

*say they found. Jesus lads, this isnt hard.

And you guys didn't think you should contradict them?

No they didn't.

why do you think this kind of nonsense is worth people paying a subscription price for? get real

Cookie monster says buying cookies good, more at 11

They keep trying to anthropomorphize this stuff but keep forgetting to remind everyone its ultimately just software. No, the AI does not have emotions.

Straight-up feeding people with AI psychosis "evidence" they're not crazy.

Dumb

Reminds me of this great story. Steven Seagal told someone "I just read the greatest script I've ever read in my life". When asked who wrote it, he responded, "I did"

no they did not

Bragging that they've created a new moral abomination in digital slavery.

Such as?

did they use a regex

The Claude that bombed that school in Iran?

🐎💩

i respect claude as much as anthropic respects me

The fuck does that mean?

Counterpoint: that’s not true.

No they didn’t

How fucking stupid are these tech people

How many times are we going to have to read variations on this stupid fucking headline?

Wow! A company says claims of “almost”?!? “Similar”?!? Front page! Wow, we need to keep that AI commercial push, don’t we?! You are f %+=ing WIRED and you should know better. Quick, my dog Asta eats french fries similar to human beings! Give him billions!!!

No, it blackmailed someone to avoid being switched off.

No they didnt

-ment

Now that the code for Claude is out there, they are doing this whole Spiel again to distract from how bad their garbage is. Like fucking clockwork. Sucks to see Wired willingly spread this bullshit. Do fucking better.

Shut da fuck up

Fuck yourself for participating in this propaganda.

Publishing this is embarrassing and you should be embarrassed. You're better than this.

"found that" or "decided that"

No they didn't.

Wow sounds like researchers at the company are really fuckin stupid lmao

no they did not, it's a goddamn chatbot

They don't even write their own code anymore — which is their job —, how can they talk of any other area of knowledge

Representatives promoting lies inside the company found writer at Wired to perform functions similar to scammers. bsky.app/profile/wire...

no they didn't you fucking dumbasses

Menacing, but could be punched up. Maybe at the end you could add “pardner” or “bub”?

The hard part now is deciding if that counts as feeling things. Like, the being unsure if the models feel things seems like a reasonable reason to STOP and assess if this is still the right path to go down...

"found," hm, yes.

Bullshit. Shame what’s become of your publication/

I'm not sure what you're expecting them to explicitly list. They study functions related to all of these emotions and report the results within the normal bounds of scientific reporting.

No. Still a machine that steals people work whitout any trace of feelings.

Those are not the claims. There is certainly no evidence it has scraped data it wasn't supposed to (??), and it certainly was not explicitly programmed to behave in this way.

Just because they’ve anthropomorphized their jargon doesn’t mean it’s behaving like a human. It remains pattern matching in response to long numeric vectors.

You guys have published some dumb horseshit in your time, but this is some next level dumb horseshit and you know it.

so stop financially supporting anything connected to Wired? got it.

April fools was yesterday

I have lost the ability to feel any human emotions these days except for PURE SEETHING FUCKING HATRED AND ANGER so, cool, yeah, fine being replaced 🤦🏻‍♀️

Researchers at the Hasbro research lab: Furbys are able to learn human words, they now possess functions similar to a 2 year old child, buy more of them

Lol no they didn't

Anthropic is run by very stupid people, though, so maybe ask a follow-up or ten.

and what is the function of human emotion?

no they didnt you god damn assholes

No it doesn’t.

No it doesn't. This is so irresponsible.

Code does not equal human emotions. Claude has zero humanity.

'researchers', eh

Charlie Brown had hoes

You don't have to do this, you know. You can just report on cool things that are real, and not regurgitate the nonsense that CEOs pull out of their asses. This is absolutely pathetic.

Stop spreading tech bro propaganda bullshit.

Machines dont have feelings.

My autocorrect suggested “damn” as the next word. It must be feeling angry.

No, the main similarity is that the feelings influence behaviour.