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No fucking grazie

I cannot give you a satisfactory answer at this time. This seems nightmarish.

Oh gosh.

I would have called it the iPrego 😃😃😃

🏆🏆🏆

Nothing bad could possibly ever come from this! Can I give it a blood sample too? I need to know when my blood-marinara levels are getting too low.

That is just a beige early-gen Alexa on that table

Hell naw, y'all.

That feature can be easily disabled with a hammer.

I'm old enough to remember when companies would still occasionally make things normal people would want

Si, io capisco. Ma, perche?

Is there really a market for this? Who really needs to re-live the trauma of their childhood decades later?

If Matel can put cameras in Barbie's why not mic the pasta? Who better to trust your privacy with than Prego?

Sounds safe I'll take three!

why

Thank God stuff like this didn't exist when I was a kid. My father would've bought one, demanded me and my brothers perform so he could have recorded proof he was a Good Father, and when we inevitably fell short of his expectations he'd turn it off & scream at us for being ungrateful & disrespectful

Gross, a bug at the dining table. Also, it's redundant.

Shoe companies turning in to AI companies. Pasta sauce leaning into mass surveillance. Dogs and cats living together! Mass hysteria!

From the Sopranos I know if there’s anything Italians love, it’s recorded conversations!

All these monitoring & recording devices create an incredible opportunity for every expression of identity to become purely performative. Hopefully this potential will be realized & will result in an unprecedented level of ego loss as people realize that all identity is, in fact, a performance.

I will never buy another jar of Prego.

do families still converse at dinner...to each other?

providing material for future therapy I guess

Useful for custody battles.

Once again someone saw Black Mirror and failed to understand that it is not supposed to be the final goal.

What even is the point of this? Who will sit there and replay their family dinner conversations? If people wanted to record their dinner conversations so bad, they'd have already done so with a cheap audio recorder. But no one does this!!! I feel like I'm going insane!!!!

But...but... if you want to record your dinner conversations for posterity you can just use your phone. You don't need to spend an extra penny.

A mini-mob boss collecting your personal secrets around a dinner of pasta? Seems kinda racist.

Nope

Ragu would never!

Nothing brings a moody teenager out of their shell like announcing that all future communication will be recorded.

FUCK OFF FUCK OFF FUCK OFF

This idea certainly beats another one about talking to the dead via AI. Not that its much better, by any means...

How about no!

Why the fuck did they think that people wanted this? Are they actually so insulated from actual humans that they have no idea that this is something that no actual person in the world wants?

To clarify, that quote is from the PC Mag article about the device.

Hey Alexa, disable my pasta sauce.

This might be bad

So I guess they are gonna sell them to AI and other fucked up tech companies.

I have been recording conversations for years. NOT personal, friendly, dinner conversations mind you. Doctor visits, business transactions, instructions and directions. Anything where I might want to remember details later or CYA. The incredible device I use? My phone.

This is a terrible idea. Surveillance on your own family.

The last thing I need is for other people to be able listen to my family dinner conversations at the Library of Congress.

This is why the gods invented stainless steel tenderizer mallets.

No.... Absolutely not. Why are people so willing to allow these tech companies to record everything? I can understand if we lived in a world where billionaires were trustworthy and the government wasn't actively trying to find new ways to surveil the population, but this is not that world.

It certainly is not bc we don't have enough spying & surveillance in the world. Broligarchs keep coming up with more & more ways to invade People's privacy bc building such devices is dirt cheap now, compared to amount of information they steal and sell.

I don't know but for some reason the first dinner conversation I thought of was the one that occurred between members of a flatulent family, all portrayed by a fictional movie star played by Jack Black, in a fake trailer at the beginning of Tropic Thunder.

So you can replay the conversation and your spouse can't gaslight you about what they just said.

Don't worry they definitely don't sell the data to AI companies.

Have people considered being fucking normal by chance

Paul Newman would never

Because sending someone to stare at you all and take notes by hand would cost them too much.

This is bad. Don’t do this.

Prego reps listening to 3 hours of me sobbing into a bowl of cold sauce and noodles that I never bothered to warm up.

This is a worse idea than serving Prego.

Finally, I can refer back to previous conversations to win arguments about what my family members did or did not say. That will surely be a lot of fun.

This one is the best reply.

I honestly don't get how they can still even sell things like this when fascists have constructed a panopticon but it's even weirder that is coming from a jar sauce company. Another good reason to just make one from a fucking passata or cream base like a normal person instead.

Oof...data dive sell for AI cash cow. Oh no Prego say it isn't so. As if the sauce wasn't bad enough.

So the recordings can be played back to your therapist later when talking about how you developed Complex PTSD?

Did not have skynet spaghetti sauce on my dystopia bingo card.

StoryCorps has had an ap for over a decade...? If you're going to Do The Thing with intention, I don't see what this gimmick, even as an intentional brand stunt, can add.

"Listen, honey, it's that time you tried to give us serious news about why you were going to need family support for a while and we all thought you were talking about the spaghetti sauce! 😄"

A device designed to record people. Groundbreaking concept, guys. Next, invent the #2 pencil to aid in tightening up data maintenance.

It's been done

Good thing for real mafiostas that they make their own pasta sauce!

it simply sends it off to a company "microsite" which is definitely not the cloud and you can definitely trust us

Just record a voice note on your phone or buy a cordless microphone for $10.

mocks reading an article instead of just the headline, thinks stating facts is carrying water for big pasta sauce. based pro-ignorance take.

Solutions nobody is asking for to problems that don't exist seems very much like what tech companies force-feed us with surveillance products, hence the snarky comparisons.

Got it. So the next mass-produced iteration of this will definitely be internet connected.

Was this story, perhaps, published on 4/1/2026?

"Sauce from a jar? You're serving us sauce from a jar?!" [sound of dishes being thrown]

what a HORRIBLE idea. #FuckOffPrego

Oh, so That's how they're doing surveillance for RICO cases now.

Four out of five divorce attorneys endorse this device. The fifth said it needs video.

It was always the worst. Even as a college student long ago I preferred Marcella Hazan’s 30 minute tomato sauce. Garlic and oil instead of onion and butter works too

Prego already tastes like it has metal in it so

Why? We are devolving at lightening speed.

No.

What a terrible idea. Just fundamentally bad.

Palantir will be so jealous.

not to be outdone, Ragu pivots to lethal drone systems

It's pretty clear the vast majority of my fellow commenters didn't read the article.

I threw away both my Alexa speaker and Google speaker.. why the fuck would I need this?

Wondering what kind of control you have over these recordings. Are they just mp3s you can download? Or some sort of proprietary format that requires the app.

I love the Block and Hide Reply functions! Every time I read some idiot accusing us of not reading a PAYWALL article or not being trusting, off to the cornfield. I don't want to waste one second reading stubborn ppl who trust govt + companies to tell the truth. Get real or get outta my face!😱🙄

WHY???? Who has time to listen to or see something from the past? Ppl won't study history. Ya think they are gonna listen to family convos? Sounds more like a cool way to record PRIVATE convos to train AI and the govt or those w/money to snoop + control us. Big Brother doesn't belong in our lives!

Looking forward to hearing what gets discussed in my refrigerator

Legit horrifying

Why is it that “new tech” has become nothing more than variations on creepy and unnecessary bullshit now? Are printers working well, finally? I mean, Apple can’t even fix their text input systems.

Prego is an AI company now too.

Wow what a terrible idea.

Yeah No

Literally no one asked for this. 😕

"Remember that time Mom screamed at Dad at dinner, calling him a drunk and a bum? Let's replay that for old times sake!"

good to hear money is being burned at ever increasing rates across all sectors

If you make spaghetti with sauce from a jar and not by following your Italian mom's recipe, I question the content of those dinner conversations. Better to recreate them with shared, happy memories with your family.

AI to take over human functions so that humans have more time to become content.

So... they've invented the Amazon Echo, but for the dinner table?

Ah, recorded for all time, conversations where everybody talks at once.

So several days of parents asking their kids what they learned in school today and the only response is "nothing." genius. When will corporations and big tech realize we don't fucking want tech in everything

The NSA agent busting in over the Pregomatic to tell my family to stop shouting so damn much in 1995😆

I'm very disappointed in StoryCorps

That thing is going to record / be involved with so many crimes.

You crazy bastard how are you?

@glennf.com

The site wide reaction to this is one of the most obvious cases of “no one reads the article” I’ve ever seen lmao

paywall.

Prego has invented voice memos, outstanding

Waiting for the cross-branding with Nintendo

paging @batarong.com

Pasta sauce company has never met or spoken to a single family.